Hudson Valley Writing Project | Clear

"Clear" by Lilly Azmitia (12 yrs old - featured story during the Hudson Valley Writing Project hosted by SUNY New Paltz - story inspired by an artwork piece called 'Beaver Lake' housed at the campus museum)

     I stopped walking in the small field in front of Beaver Lake. Walking a bit closer, I started to wade at the water's edge. The water was clear and cold. It calmed my nerves ever so slightly. I closed my eyes and tried to figure out why I was here and not at home trying to work things out. I stopped wading and just stood there for a few minutes. I listened to the birds as they sang around me. I opened my eyes slowly and looked around me. The light had switched positions from where it was prior to me closing my eyes. It now shone brightly through the leaves and although it was pretty bright, the leaves shaded part of the lake, making the light that shine through look softer and less harsh. The trees casted moving shadows on the water as they swayed in the gentle breeze. The birds had stopped singing, too. They sat in silence, as if they were judging me.

     I tried to steady my breathing as my heart beat faster, telling me I was going to cry unless I calmed down. The wind started to blow heavier and shook the leaves to the point where they threatened to fall off the tree, just like the tears that threatened to come down my cheeks. As the wind started to settle, the leaves did fall and along with them came flower petals. The dark green leaves and bright pink petals delicately cascaded to the water's clear, blue surface. The nearby willow tree gently swung, softly dipping the tips of its branches in the water. Only the small, white leaves of the willow got wet and as the wind continued to blowing, they whipped around, spreading small drops of water on the lake's surface. I waded a bit further into the water and sat down on a small mound of grass on the other side of the lake. I breathed slowly as the breeze flowed through the trees. 

     I let the breeze shake over me as I thought again why I couldn't try to work things out. Why I had to run away from my problems all the time. I came here to escape. To escape from my problems. To escape from everything bad that keeps happening. I shouldn't run away but the lake makes me feel better. I sighed and grabbed a willow branch. I dropped the branch in surprise as my hand almost instantly got wet. Then I noticed that there was a abandoned bungalow nearby and I think I might spend the night there. I gently waded back over to the other side and attempted to dry my legs with my sleeves. I calmly walked through the small field again making my way to the bungalow. I stopped walking when the wind blew and the thick scent of trees washed over me. I walked over to a pair of trees and hugged one before heading inside the bungalow. Pushing dust off some forgotten shelves. I felt my way around in the darkness of the bungalow. The moon didn't do much to illuminate the bungalow because of all the trees surrounding it. After a bit of struggling in the dark, I felt my shin hit the bed frame. I felt my way along the frame until I felt the dusty mattress. I untied my jacket from my waist and laid it out carefully on the bed. I tossed the dirty pillow onto the floor and curled up on the bed. When I tried to sleep, the tears started to come. 

     I don't know how long I cried before I fell asleep. I don't even know how long I slept. All I know is when I woke up, it was still night time. It might have been a few hours or maybe a day but I didn't care. It was nice to get away even just for a little while. Even if it was for the wrong reasons. I tossed the pillow back onto the bed and pulled my jacket back onto my body. I was going to head over to the lake again to say goodbye. As I reached the lake, I thought about what I was going to say and how I was going to face my problems. I knew that once I got home, I was going to wish that I had never left the lake, but that's okay. I always come back to Beaver Lake. It's the only place I'm happy. So, I gathered what little was with me and got ready to go back to the place I call home. The place that caused me so much pain but somehow still the place I love.